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New Final Fantasy XV Episode Duscae Screens Released: Join Noctis On A Poorly Planned Camping Trip Of Doom

New Final Fantasy XV Episode Duscae Screens Showss Crew Going On Poorly Planned Camping Trip

By Steve Buja , Updated Feb 23, 2015 01:42 PM EST

Square Enix has released several more screens from the Final Fantasy XV demo titled Episode Duscae.

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The demo is only available to those who pre-order the upcoming Final Fantasy Type-0 HD, which hits March 20 for both Xbox One and PS4.

The new screens show off the (kind of old at this point) Duscae region, a stunningly beautiful green and hilly world that the main character Noctis and his friends have adventures in. We get a look at some more photoworthy scenery, the camping system and some of the missions the foursome will take on during the first episode.

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And I must say, as someone who knows a thing or two about camping, these kids wouldn't last five minutes out in the wilderness. I know they're the rich sons of gangsters or something, so they can just buy their way out of most situations, but that also means they could buy some sense - and some more appropriate gear - before heading out into the great unknown.

Don't come crying to me when your Target-bought Coleman tent fails on you because you don't know the first thing about the outdoors.

They may be quite well prepared for all I know, but it doesn't change the fact that...

First of all, every outdoorsman knows that there are just some places you stay away from. The ones that say 'warning' and then feature the image of a giant monster are best to be avoided. I know you're all fired up and what have you, but can we practice a little common sense? You're going to have to travel deep into the woods and...

Leather looks cool, but it doesn't breathe all too well. And getting it wet can cause extreme chaffing and discomfort, not to mention that if you're wearing it during the night, it retains the cold, dropping your body weight down.

See? Not safe.

Plus, who is carrying all this stuff? Coolers? Camp chair? Large, bulky, non-ultralight tents? I don't see anyone outfitted with a backpack. You're far from the road, good sirs, and how do you intend to trek all of that in? I am also betting you did not observe proper Leave No Trace guidelines when creating your site for the evening. Did you take only downed and dead wood and will you remove all signs that you were there when you break camp in the morning?

Your shoewear choice is terrible. Yes, you all look cool, but you - yeah, you, on the right, what are those? Dress shoes? Is there even any tread to those? How long do you think you're going to walk before those fall apart and your feet get torn up to the point you can't walk? Blisters are absolutely no fun and when your friends are counting on you to aid them in battle, you can't worry about any lingering pain. I don't know if a healing potion will help this.

Also, would sleeves really hurt? Guys, think layers. You need to put down some thermal wicking underneath to preserve heat, then a non-cotton (preferably wool or synthetic) shirt and then, depending on the weather and time of day, add on warmth and rain 'shell' layers. Or else hypothermia or sunstroke will do you in long before the monsters get to you.

I do notice that you brought plenty of weapons. What are you? An American in a national park? Yes, those will come in handy, obviously, but they're bulky, heavy and taking up valuable space for food.

What is your food situation anyways? Those look like metal plates and cutlery. How much weight can any of you carry?

Good luck out there. I'll be sure to send in the Rangers when you haven't returned to civilization in three days because you're all hypothermic messes who have resorted to cannibalism. Or worse...