Five Ways That You Can Be SUPERHOT, Too

By Matthew Buzzi , Updated Jul 24, 2014 01:22 PM EDT
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Indie time-manipulation game SUPERHOT (which you can try here) might be Super Hot, but are you? Here are five--the only five--ways that you can be Super Hot, too:

1. Do as much as possible in slow motion

Look, I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, but it's pretty much a scientific fact at this point that doing things in slow motion will make you more successful and well-liked. Even if it's just your mundane, daily routine, slowing time to a crawl will make you Super Hot in short order.

2. Paint your walls, floors and everything you know and love white

Becoming Super Hot is about commitment, and this is just something you'll need to do. The aesthetic is an integral part of the lifestyle: it's your Super Hot world, and we're just living in it. On that note...

3. Try your best to see everyone around you as abstract red figures

This one's pretty self-explanatory, in all honesty.

4. Say SUPER HOT out loud to yourself at least twice a day

This is crucial--so much so that it should probably be at the top of the list, but I only just thought of it and it's already listed as number four. If you need instruction, watch the video below: the deep voice and syntax are key.

5. Don't worry about dying, you can just respawn

You'll get them next time, or the time after that. Just keep trying, until you grow frustrated enough to stop and give up on your Super Hot dreams. This life isn't for the faint of heart.

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